We’ve all been through the honeymoon period of a relationship. Fireworks explode, you can’t stop thinking about them and ripping each other’s clothes off is all you want.
Phew, we’re getting hot just talking about it…
But after the honeymoon period is over, many couples tend to find their sex life ends up being more “eh” than “OH!”. More average than amazing. But don’t worry, it’s a totally natural part of relationships and doesn’t mean you should run for the hills. With time, effort and, you’ll be glad to hear, a LOT of time between the sheets, getting that spark back can happen in no time.
You’ve come to the right place. Take a look below for Ann Summers’ tips on how to make sex better, unforgettable and the hottest you’ve ever had.
Nothing kills the moment more than a desperate dive under the duvet or flick of the light switch in an attempt to avoid being seen naked. We get it, not everyone’s comfortable with their body. But did you know that loving your body actually makes you better at sex?
Here at Ann Summers, we’re champions of body positivity.
So rather than worrying about the way you look, focus on really feeling the pleasure and letting your body feel good. We know it’s gonna take some time, but baby steps are all you need.
Ladies, instead of greeting him at the door in your birthday suit, opt for a bra and knicker set in your favourite style and colour. Lingerie is guaranteed to make you feel fierce, and it’ll drive your partner wild too.
If you want to cover up more but still look sexy, babydolls are perfect. This floaty style covers your stomach and looks elegant but enticing. Once you’ve got your confidence going, turn up the heat with some erotic underwear for an unforgettable night of seduction.
Huh? This guide is about how to make sex better, why on earth are we talking about not having sex?
Hear us out.
We won’t deny, there’s a fair bit of pressure out there that says couples have to have sex. Hell no! Sex should be enjoyable, not a chore – you can do the dishes for that. So take the pressure off and come to an agreement with your partner; no sex for a week, or a month – whatever you think you can handle. Sometimes taking sex off the table can make it better in bed
Go right back to the basics of intimacy. Did you know that kissing is often the first thing to fizzle out in a long-term relationship? Head back to your teenage years with a good old-fashioned make out session.
Focusing on cuddles, massages and everybody’s best friend – foreplay. You can go down on them, they can go down on your (or do both at once with a sexy 69). Intimacy isn’t just about sex; you can boost the love and attraction between you just by getting close to each other like you used to.
Although we will admit, you’ll probably end up having sex long before your deadline ends if things start to get hot. Just go with it.
Think back to the start of your relationship. We bet it was so damn hot. Intense eye contact, flirtatious exchanges, and goodnight kisses that left you wanting more.
Now, a year or two down the line, you’re lucky to get a goodbye kiss in the morning let alone some quality time together. Maybe you have sex once a week or once a fortnight, and it’s so scheduled it might as well be written on the calendar.
That’s just what happens, they said. Relationships fizzle out, they said.
Right, but that doesn’t have to be the end. Make the effort to get out of your sex rut and you’ll be rewarded – it’s all about doing something different…
Bring in some friends – we’re not talking about a threesome so calm down. By friends we mean toys, and couples sex toys are the perfect way to take your love life from vanilla to chilli hot in under 60 seconds.
Turn up the kink – being bad feels pretty good. Whip out a blindfold or meet them at the door with a pair of handcuffs dangling from your finger. We promise they won’t say no.
Switch positions – always go for missionary? There’s a whole world of different sex positions to try, and we can show you the best ones. Check out our sex positions on the blog for plenty of inspiration.
Surprise them – Does sex for you happen every Wednesday at 8pm on the dot? Grab them for a quickie before they leave for work in the morning or join them in the shower on a lazy Sunday morning. Variety is the spice of life, after all.
Communication is vital between couples. If kissing is the first thing to go, then talking is a close second. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about sex – before you dive under the covers together, take time to talk about what really turns you on, and what your biggest turn offs are. No one in this world, man or woman, is a mind reader, so don’t just assume they’ll know what you like.
First of all, talk about where you’d like to improve. We’re not saying write a long list of everything your partner does wrong – you’d be better off keeping quiet – but if they’re just not quite hitting the spot, now’s the time to speak up. Lying back and pretending it feels good doesn’t help anyone – nobody wants to learn an orgasm is fake.
The next time things start to heat up, whether you're trying to sexually satisfy the woman or simply attract the man, don’t be afraid to guide their hand to the right pleasure points or, better yet, show them exactly what feels good by indulging in some mutual masturbation.
It’s hot, and you learn something. Win-win.
What do you do when someone says, “talk dirty to me”? Do the words come easily or is it a struggle? Most of us aren’t a natural Casanova so dirty talk can be a bit of a challenge. But once you overcome that initial awkwardness you’ll soon see that there’s nothing hotter than hearing someone whisper in your ear exactly what they want to do to you. Trust us, it’s the perfect build up.
And finally, don’t be afraid to share your deepest darkest desires with your partner. Whether you’re desperate to try out a new position or want to explore some role play, if you don’t ask you won’t get – so don’t shy away from telling your partner what you really want. Be confident, take the reins and start experimenting together.
Remember we talked about taking sex off the table for a bit? While you’re doing that, you should also turn back the clock and go back to those early days. The best way to recapture the honeymoon phase is to pretend that you’re in it.
Send them a surprise suggestive text message when they’re at work one day and watch them race home to be with you that evening. Take them out for a fun date night. Put your phones down and spend quality time together. Get to know each other like you did in the beginning and you’ll find that the spark reignites in no time.
We all love a quickie every now and then, but sometimes it’s nice to build the mood and take your time with it. Remember, foreplay starts long before sex, so tease their mind first with flirty looks, suggestive text messages and lingering touches.
Cooking for one another is a wonderful way to strengthen a relationship – it’s intimate, fun and can get as kinky as you like – sex against the kitchen counter anyone? But certain foods serve an even sexier purpose. Add a few aphrodisiacs to your kitchen cupboards such as salmon, avocado, chocolate and red wine, all of which are well known for their libido-boosting properties.
Fine dining also calls for suitable clothing, with a sexy twist of course. Before you start cooking, slip into something a little bit more appropriate. Nothing will drive him wilder than seeing suspenders peek out from underneath your mini skirt.
After the main course, why not relax together? Hop into a warm, soap bubble bath and, when all the suds are gone and you can’t keep your hands to yourself any longer, indulge in a long luxurious massage.