Performing oral sex on women can sometimes be seen as a bit of a dark art, however, mastering the right techniques could have endless pleasurable results and make you an invaluable asset in the bedroom.
Yes, all women have different preferences, different moods and different tolerances for kink, but there are some common principles that will make the majority very happy indeed:
Make sure you know what she wants, and that she feels comfortable telling you about it. Also, pay attention to how she reacts to what you’re doing. Work within her boundaries – slipping a finger in her bum when she didn’t expect (or want) it isn’t a good idea – so get some direction from her about what she likes and wants to try out.
No man wants to feel like a woman isn’t enjoying giving a blow job and it’s the same for women. If we feel like you’re not having fun, we’re unlikely to have much fun ourselves.
There are so many ways to pleasure a woman with oral sex, and even if you’ve been getting great reviews for years, there’s probably more you can try.
First things first, if she doesn’t feel relaxed or feels like you don’t really want to do this, she’s not going to enjoy it. Obvious things, such as starting with some kissing, will help but also make sure she’s comfortable with the idea of oral sex. While you’re kissing, test the waters by seeing which parts of her body respond to your touch, whether it’s the outside of her thigh, her neck, her stomach, nipples and so on. You can then incorporate these areas later.
There are plenty of places you can cover in order to build up the tension before moving towards her erogenous zones. Kissing, licking and gently biting her legs from the ankle up can feel incredible. Start on the inner ankle, inner calf, behind the knee then work your way up the thighs…
Once you arrive between her legs, there’s much more to do than simply lick her clitoris. If she’s turned on, every touch (and breath!) in this area has the power to make her gasp…
From heavy breathing and gentle moans to the ego-boosting ‘oh wow HOW are you doing that??’, use her reactions to decide what to keep doing and when to change things up.
The longer you take to build things up, the more rewarding her orgasm is likely to be, so pay attention!
Eye contact is a personal thing – much like a lot of this stuff, everyone has a preference. Watching her reactions can obviously be useful, but gauge whether she wants you to look into her eyes while you go down on her. There’s a fine line between intensely sexy… and kinda creepy.
Remember your tongue contains eight muscles – and these help to shape it in many different ways and adapt the pressure you can use. For example, flattening your tongue to lick slowly all the way up the vulva, then pointing it to slide inside her vagina or flick quickly over the clitoris… there’s plenty you can do here.
Whilst we’re talking about your mouth, let’s not forget your lips, teeth, and breath. Your lips can be used to suck her clit, or simply hold it between your lips and hum (this isn’t just a trick used in blow jobs).
Teeth can be used – and we can’t emphasize this enough – GENTLY on her labia, alternating with kisses and licks to mix up the sensations.
Don’t forget to use your breath! Gently exhaling your warm breath on her just before you actually touch can feel incredible, just as blowing a little cool air on her after you’ve licked her, or used some cooling lube, can make her toes curl (in a good way hopefully!).
Your hands can play a really important part in oral sex, whether that’s gently opening her labia to give you better access to the clitoris or sliding them (wet please! Saliva or lube are our friends) into her vagina – start with one and add more if she wants. Curling your fingers towards the front of her body means you can stimulate her G-spot too.
Some – but not all (this is her decision, not yours) – women are happy with the idea of some anal play during oral sex too. This might mean a lubed-up finger, or rimming. Just remember not to put that finger back anywhere else. She won’t thank you for giving her an infection!
Clit stims, G-spot vibrators and butt plugscan add an extra dimension to the experience. Extra vibrations or pressure that you don’t have quite enough fingers to create can take her from ‘mmm this is good’ to the neighbours raising a noise complaint.
Yes, you have saliva in your mouth – and that’s great – but can your spit make her clit tingle, warm up, or taste like prosecco? Didn’t think so.