Lesbian couple in bed with each other


Lesbian sex is much more than the false representation that we see in the mainstream porn industry. From absolute beginners, to long-term female couples, there is a world of pleasure to be had between two women.

Over the years, lesbian sex has been somewhat misrepresented. For those whose knowledge of girl-on-girl action comes solely from watching online porn, there’s an expectation of lesbian sex that’s just… well, ludicrous. In fact, most lesbian porn stars are actually straight in real life, just following the storylines set for them.

We can’t blame people for a poor understanding of lesbian relationships, after all, it was only in 2019 that the government announced plans to include LGBT relationships into the school sex education curriculum. So, other than watching women doing particularly wooden acting and playing out ridiculous scenarios, how do you pick up lesbian sex tips that are sure to take your fun between the sheets to the next level?

Don’t worry, Ann Summers have you covered. We’ve put together some top tips, so whether you’re happily in a relationship or just experimenting with a woman for the first time, you’ll know what you’re doing.

“If It’s Not Like Porn, How Do Lesbians Have Sex?”

This is the first hurdle; most lesbian porn just doesn’t seem to be made for lesbians (or women for that matter) to enjoy. Obviously, you don’t have to be a lesbian to enjoy lesbian sex, all women can enjoy it. Just like sex between any two people, there are all kinds of things to consider to help make lesbian sex as enjoyable as possible for everyone involved.

Also – if you look for it, there is authentic lesbian porn out there, made by women, for women.

Icons of females in the pride rainbow flag

First Time Lesbian Sex Tips

Getting Warmed Up


People often say, “sex happens in the head first” and this is especially true with two women. Forging an emotional connection through talking and foreplay will lead to a much more close and intense experience.


Leave everything you’ve seen in porn out of it. Have sex that works for you and your partner, not a man watching. That’s the big difference between most lesbian porn and real lesbian sex.


Listen to your partner. There’s a lot to be said for listening out for how she reacts to everything you do.


Don’t rush into it. There’s much more to lesbian sex than just going down on each other and you have more than just your tongue to use. Kissing, touching and caressing every erogenous zone is just as important, enjoy the build-up.

Preparing to Go Down


Hold your horses! Before you go down, try stopping off at some other erogenous zones along the way. The neck, collarbone, nipples, thighs, read your partner and find out what works for them.


Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. Keeping these things to yourself is a recipe for disappointment. Make sure you communicate openly but be sensitive – not all of us find it easy to discuss these things.


Be honest about your sexuality. Some of us don’t fully understand our sexual desires until later in life. If you’re a little unsure, be honest with your partner. You might have more in common than you think!


Practice makes perfect. One bonus of lesbian sex is that you share the same anatomy as your partner – so practice on it! Figure out what feels good for you and try it on her. She can also do the same for you.

Female arching her back in pleasure



For first timers, this can be intimidating. Just try to enjoy it and take your time. If anything, a little teasing will help build the excitement and tension for her.


When building the tension, try licking and blowing around her inner thighs, working your way upwards – even starting behind her knees. It’s an extremely sensitive area that’s sure to have her desperate for you to move on to her clitoris.


Remember there are thousands of nerve endings down there. Seeking them all out will be a lot of fun for both of you.


Don’t be afraid to slip your tongue (or a finger or two) into her vagina. If you do insert your fingers, curl them towards the front of her body in a ‘come hither’ motion to find her g-spot. Keep stimulating her clitoris at the same time and she’ll soon be in a world of pleasure.

Still feeling nervous about cunnilingus? Our guide to going down on a woman has loads of expert tips to help you perfect your oral technique, you’ll become a pro in no time at all!

Sensual grayscale image of a couple

How to Spice Up Lesbian Sex

The great thing about lesbian sex is that there are plenty of ways to change things up very easily, and we have all kinds of suggestions here at Ann Summers. From sex toys to licks and lubes, adding something extra to your bedroom activity could be just the ticket.


Using your fingers can be great during sex but swapping it out for a dildo can help you get a little deeper and let your hands focus on providing pleasure elsewhere. Picking a dildo can rely on several different factors, some couples enjoy a double-ended dildo, whereas some find a phallic shaped toy a turn off. 


Sure, dildos are great, but vibrators can really help to add some intense new sensations that are sure to drive you both wild. With toys such as bullet vibrators, perfect for clitoral and nipple stimulation, and vibrating dildos to light up your insides, a vibrator is the ideal tool to spice up lesbian sex. 

Anal Toys

Anal stimulation can add an extra element to sex, so it’s perfect for spicing up your love life. A vibrating butt plug can help to stimulate those nerve endings around the anus and add to the pleasure. 


Speaking of lubricant, a selection of flavoured lubes and licks can help make sex that little bit tastier. Just pick a flavour, from strawberry to candy floss and beyond, apply it wherever you’d like on your partner and lick away! 


If you and your partner fancy experimenting with restraints, whips and more, bondage could be the perfect way to enhance your sex life. It can lead to all kinds of roleplaying fun and let out your deepest, darkest fantasies.